Preemie-parent writing

An ethical approach for high-risk births

In 2012, we were expecting a baby in August, but on Pascha, my wife started having contractions. Our baby was at 21 weeks and 4 days of gestation, and the first thing the doctors advised us was abortion. We said no and Miri was in the antepartum unit with preterm labor for nine days and almost made it to the limit at which the hospital would think about trying to save our son, but again, they advised us not to try to save him. We were in the hospital another five months.

As a writer, this gave me plenty to write about (and a case of PTSD). I took it upon myself to write a memoir about our experiences in hopes of changing doctors’ attitudes and in hopes of helping other preemie parents. As it turned out, there is no market at all for this kind of book unless you’re already famous or your writing is as good as Maya Angelou’s. 

But what did come of all this work was a short article we submitted to the Journal of Pediatrics, the main publication of the American Academy of Pediatrics, the organization that sets national standards for treatment of preemies. They had us collaborate with a neonatologist from Florida and together we created an article in hopes of doing a little towards changing doctors’ attitudes about births at the edge of viability.

Maybe someday I’ll publish the memoir.

Preemie-dad blogging

Our experience having our super-preemie baby also turned me into a speaker, advocate, and blogger for preemie parents. (Did I mention this experience had a bit of an effect on us?) I joined Hand to Hold and published blogposts on how to get more help if doctors won’t follow parents’ wishes, preemie-parent PTSD, ways that Dads can help in the NICU, and feeding disorder challenges that often follow a NICU stay.